Kazakh Orgasmatron

Motörhead’s hits throated by Yat-Kha (as well as Hank Williams, Kraftwerk, the Stones), through Reinder.

German for beginners

With the World Cup coming up in Germany this summer, the Dutch football union KNVB have seen it fit to produce a German language course for those Dutch fans visiting the matches.

You’ll learn to tell a German:

It is indeed a pity to lose to Togo.
Eine Niederlage gegen Togo ist wirklich schade.

I do not think that waste paper basket is to be blamed.
Ich glaube nicht, dass dieser Papierkorb etwas dafür kann.

The host country rarely gets kicked out in the first round.
Es kommt wirklich nicht häufig vor, dass das Gastgeberland schon in der ersten Runde rausfliegt.

Perhaps you lack a sense of humor.
Vielleicht haben Sie keinen Sinn für Humor.

1974.
Neunzehnhundertvierundsiebzig.

1988.
Neunzehnhundertachtundachtzig.

Forkerator

Memo to self; must keep track of the efforts of the Utnubu group, who try and keep track of the differences between Debian GNU/Linux and Ubuntu GNU/Linux, and integrate everything that is “good” into the former. Their experiences could help make maintaining forks easier, something I am looking forward to.

(As referenced somewhere on Everybody Loves Eric Raymond.)

The freedom to prattle

Mr Bean: One Muslim protester, photographed holding a banner with the slogan “Freedom Can Go To Hell” on it, said that this violation of the West’s most sacred taboo was intended “ironically”.

Archbishop: Across Europe, newspapers showed solidarity with Denmark by printing cartoons about pedophilia and essays by holocaust deniers.


Andrew Rilstone on the things we don’t always say.

“I look forward to killing you soon”

The new “goodbye” from UPC’s support staff? Why not Ask a Ninja!

(Through Rocketboom.)

Dear sirs and other assorted animals

People want to believe that their car is special, individual. When I was working the lot at the used car place, we used to keep a car out back and we would shove dead pigeons under the hood. Dead pigeons, man. That car was waiting for the perfect customer, a little old lady with a wicker purse. We convinced her the car ate pigeons. She was thrilled. We sold haunted cars, cursed cars. We sold cars that made you lucky in love. We sold cars that famous people had spat on.

(From an application letter to Toyota.)

As Goldfinger said: “Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, and third time it’s enemy action.”

Well, this is the second time someone refers me to Joey Comeau’s fake job application letters, but I am a lazy git, so I already declare enemy action. By which, of course, I mean writing this entry.

Here’s some more, from a letter to Microsoft:

You have billions of dollars, and I will spend as much of it as I can. I don’t know what I will spend it on, and that’s part of the point. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and I’ll want to fund robotics research to make prettier butterflies that land on the fingers of children. I’ll want to give the world another credible Loch Ness Monster sighting, another downed UFO in the desert, another moon landing.

Tomorrow I’ll wake up certain that money can make the world into the best kind of theme park, where nobody knows they’re being had, where the suspension of disbelief is reinforced by seeing everything on the news at night. The news at night should have more smiling faces.

Let’s hope Joey will never ever get a job.

(Via Clancy’s.)

Blogroll

I don’t think I ever quite got the blogroll concept; the list of links you see in the sidebar of this page are blogs that I try and read daily.

Some of the other sites that I visit from time to time:

Slashdot competitors Webwereld (Dutch), Heise (German) and The Register. Heise is probably the best of these four, but I rarely read it. I used to read Webwereld almost every day, but a recent site overhaul made it a much worse place to be.

GIMP people: Tigert and Carol.

For Teleread I try and keep track of what’s happening at Digibieb (Dutch), the digital library of the town of Oss, and the Digital Media Europe news site (not a blog).

God, too, recommends Firefox

After one of the two head-rabbis of Israel admitted to using the Firefox webbrowser over Satan’s Internet Explorer, because it “keeps out the schmutz”, and almost all of New York admitted to same, now God has been discovered to give a glowing recommendation.

Source: Köllner Stadt-Anzeiger

To the left in the picture is the variable star V838 Monocerotis, to the right the Firefox logo. Skeptics may point out that the image of the V838 is much older than the design of the Firefox logo, and that it merely took the light of the former a long time to reach earth, and to them I would like to say: Pfrllt! Go back to masturbating!

Next up: Bill Gates getting wedgies from Invisible Man.

(Via Sargasso. Skeptics will take a break from their physical excertions to tell me that this is old news. As if I look like I care.)

Barbie v. Barby death match

Google results for Barbie: “Activities and games for girls online!”, “Servers are busy”, “Mattel”, and “Our toys”.

Google results for Barby: “Barby porno”, “מועדון הבארבי”, “Barby is bad”, “Girl guides and girl scouts everywhere” and “der bezaubernden Stadt an der Elbe-Saale-Mündung”.

Just so that 30th century archeologists know.

Unfortunate URLs

Unfortunate URLs for: Pen Island, Therapist Finder and Lumberjacks Exchange.

(Through mr. Weinberger.)