You know how red clothes never seem to be able to keep their colour? And how you never seem to be able to remove red wine stains from anything? So here’s an idea: why don’t clothes manufacturers use red wine to colour their products red?
(No, I did not suddenly develop a taste for colouring clothes over the holidays. Yes, I dropped a bottle of red wine. Henceforth one half of my kitchen shall be known as the Red Zone, the other half as the White Zone.)