Two dialogues

Sample

(Perry and Fatty read a poster)
ANNOUNCEMENT
10 guilders reward for anybody who saves a person from drowning near this pier! The beach committee.

PERRY
Gee, that gives me an idea to earn some easy money!

FATTY
But surely we cannot wait here until somebody falls into the water.

PERRY
We don’t have to. Listen … you jump into the drink, and pretend you are drowning. I will jump after you, save you, and those ten guilders will be ours.

FATTY
Gee, that is clever!

(A little later)

FATTY
Help! Help!

PERRY
Stay calm, I will save you!

(Jumps into the water)

MAN
That boy is a hero.

WOMAN
What a brave fellow.

(After the rescue)

LIFE GUARD
Young man, that was a remarkable deed! May I hand you these 10 guilders as a reward?!

(A little later, on the pier)

PERRY
Oh, the bank note blew out of my hand!

FATTY
Wait, I will dive in the water to get it back.

LIFE GUARD
Grrrr, you dirty rascals.

(Perry and Fatty are being chased by the life guard)

PERRY
I don’t understand why he is so excited, did he not get his money back?!

Unpublished play

COURT CLERK
Your honour, there is the man who killed Babs.

JUDGE
That man must hang. How did he do it?

COURT CLERK
He cut her into small pieces and salted her.

JUDGE
That was wrong of him. He must hang.

LOTHARIO
Your honour, I did not kill Babs! I fed her, and clothed her, and I have taken care of her. There are witnesses who will testify that I am a good man, and not a murderer.

JUDGE
Man, you must hang! You enlarge your crime by your vanity. It does not befit somebody who … is accused of something to pretend he is a good man.

LOTHARIO
But your honour, there are witnesses who will confirm it. And since I now stand accused of murder…

JUDGE
You must hang! You cut up Babs, salted her, and you are vain … three capital crimes! Who are you, little lady?

LITTLE LADY
I am Babs.

LOTHARIO
Thank the Lord. Your honour, you can see that I did not kill her!

JUDGE
Hm … yes … so! But the salting?

BABS
No your honour, he did not salt me. To the contrary, he has done me many good deeds. He is a noble person!

LOTHARIO
Listen, your honour, she calls me a good person.

JUDGE
Hm … so the third item still stands. Bailiff, take that man away, he must hang. He is guilty of arrogance. Court reporter, cite in the premises the jurisprudence of Lessing’s patriarch.

Notes

The story “Sample” was printed at the back of a comic book about the Dutch version of Perry Winkle, Sjors. It was presumably written by Frans Piët (and copyright by the estate of Piët?).

The story “Unpublished play” is one of the introductions to Multatuli’s Max Havelaar.

The reason I put them together is mostly for stylistic similarities. Both are dialogues, both are in a way fremdkörper for the works they were published in. Spot any other similarities? Mention them in the comments.

3 responses to “Two dialogues”

  1. Martin Wisse says:

    Why do you call the latter a “fremdkorper”?

  2. brankl says:

    Because I don’t understand what it is doing in the book. :)

  3. […] moet hangen’ (Babs must hang) stems from this principal. It was novelist Multatuli who wrote the story that started the meme—his Max Havelaar took a stand against the Dutch colonial system in […]

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