How not to read e-mail in the morning

Generally it takes a little time before I manage to wake up completely. Most mornings I will wrap myself in a couple of rags (I am a work-at-home guy), brush my teeth, get some liquid breakfast, and after half an hour or so make myself some coffee. All the while I will be reading e-mail, blogs and the sort to slide into consciousness.

Wrong! it says here: “don’t read the newspaper or email in the morning because it will scramble your brain with lots of disconnected ideas and you won’t be able to accomplish any serious work for the rest of the day”.

Dude’s got a point. Although I do try to get productive after an hour or so, there are days where I look up from my distractions, and discover it is almost noon.

So, got any tips on how I can still wake up slowly without accidentally sacrificing half a day to this process?

8 responses to “How not to read e-mail in the morning”

  1. Reinder says:

    Cutting down on the liquid breakfast might be a good idea. That stuff should wait until lunchtime, at least.

  2. brankl says:

    Are you sure? They put the word “breakfast” on it, which sort of seems to imply in my mind that it is for breakfast.

  3. brankl says:

    Is that something like arse over tip?

  4. Reinder says:

    I think that expression is “arse over tit.” If it isn’t, it should be.
    Generally speaking, colourful expressions in English can be formed by stringing together as many rude words as you want, so if you want to say that having too many liquid lunches will leave you cunting arse-bollocked, you can. English speakers, at least ones, will understand you even if the expression is one you just invented, because most conversations in British cover only a very limited conceptual space anyway.
    Unlike American conversations, which cover entire vistas of wide-open conceptual space, put there by God for the enterprising, the pioneering and the proudly, ruggedly individualistic to conquer, but are usually misspelled.

  5. brankl says:

    Ah yes, the Cunting Arse Bollocks, I remember them well. A punk band from Basingstoke, right?

    A guy got arrested the other day because he was showing women his basingstoke in the park after dark.

    As a Ben Elton character once said: “I never know when I need a bugger, or where to put my bollocks”. (Interestingly, the subject was the English language.)

  6. Reinder says:

    English speakers, at least ones

    Insert the word “British” here before “ones”, plskthxbye.

  7. Reinder says:

    While we’re at it, insert “English” after that other instance of the word “British”. And insert a cafeine drip feed into my veins.

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